When i Thought,....

When i thought,

when i thought that i am all alone in this world, i realize that i am wrong. no one would be alone in this world. is your choice to live alone or with a bunch of great people around you. 

everyone will go through this-a period of loneliness, a period of not being satisfy and grateful with what we have and times when we do not appreciate things. a good example would be the weather. lately, as we all are concerned about the temperature of our earth is increasing and the weather is getting hot. we wish for it to rain. But, when it rains-raining cats and dogs outside, we wished for it to stop. that is human. we are never satisfied and we cannot be satisfied. when i was a teenager, i never realize the importance of family until i went to further my studies. even though, i am not far away from my hometown, but i am still apart from them. being apart let me realize how important they are to me and how lucky i am to have them. for instance my mum, she takes the effort to call me everyday since the first day i am apart from them. it doesn't have to be an hour talk, five minutes is enough. Five minutes are enough for her to know that i am fine and doing alright over there. it has been two years now and it still continues. in people's eyes, they might thought, "ohh god, how old are you? can't your mum just let you be independent and trust you?" that is not the question of being independent and trust, but is their care towards me. i believe that my mum trust and believe in me. what i could say is i am very very lucky to born in this family. a great mum and dad i have and not to forget my grandma and my little brother who ain't little anymore. being apart from that, brings us another step closer when we are together. it makes us believe how important each of us to one another. before i went for my studies, i hardly have much conversation with my brother which is kind of not normal since we are living under the same roof but we are not now. we talk about everything now. so, when i thought i was alone, i still have them.

friends are not all around us when we are born. we makes friends when we start to see the world, when we start to learn and when we start to gain experience. making friends is a dynamic process where it will never stop. the process begins in nursery, kindergarten, primary, high school, universities and up to our working life. people used to say friends in high school are the best. i, personally agree with that. this happens when you start to mix with a different group of people. for instance, myself. i start to realize how good are my penang mates when i am in university. not to say that i do not have friends there but friends that i could trust and count on. people there are so strange and scary to me. at one point, they can be so good with you and suddenly they changed into another person. worst of all, is friend that talks bad behind you. to me, friends i made there are just hi-hi and bye bye friends. no one i could actually count on except for my lao ee. they make friends with you to gain benefits and to use you. this is not the kind of relationship i want-not sincere. at one point of my life, i gave up on friends even my penang mates. i just want to be alone as i cannot trust anyone anymore. but, when i thought i was alone, i am wrong. i still have them. i am surprise to receive texts from my friends. that is not pity but i feel their concern towards me. this starts to build my confidence in relationship i have with them again. thank you, gals for dropping by. i am not to to seek attention but i am really disappointed at that moment.

another part that makes my life would be him. he are always there to advise me, to cheer me up and to listen to me. in other eyes, he is just an ordinary guy nothing so special about him. but to me, he is the right one. the one that care and love me for who i am. he didn't ask me to change but accept my weaknesses and bear with it. i did not regret for giving us a chance-a chance to see another side of him. before him, i fall in love with a guy. a guy that makes a lot of difference to my life in a short period of time. but, he went to further his studies. things do not work out and i admit i had a hard time during that period. then, came another one. the one that is still my best guy friend now. things do not work out between us is because we take each other as good friends and we do mean it. best wishes from me to both of you. to be with him is fate. i have gone through all this to be with him. if the time is turned back, my choice will still be YOU. i made the decision is because i have forgotten all about the previous memories. if not, i will never give us a chance. by that time, i will regret. when i thought i was alone, i have you. i am sorry for always making you worry. you can't even have a good night sleep and worry about me. for instance, last night and the next morning you have a paper. you told me you are off to bed but after that i receive your text worrying about me. i am sorry but i can tell you here, i am alright now. i heart you. i am bliss to have you. ♥ you.

when you thought you are alone, give it a second thought. 
you are never alone.